All or None Page 2
Eric remained in place, continuing to give Ty the stink eye. “Knowing he’s your ex-husband only gives me more reasons not to trust him, but if you say he’s not a threat, I’ll take your word.”
Had it been any other situation or any other submissive, Ty would have admired the way Eric ensured a submissive’s well being. Hell, if he thought about it enough, he’d probably be thankful Lillian had someone looking out for her.
However, the truth was it wasn’t another situation or another submissive they were dealing with. It it made him damn near rage with jealousy at the thought of another Dom looking out for Lillian.
“I appreciate you ensuring my safety. Thank you,” Lillian said, and the tone of her voice made Ty swing his gaze from Eric to Lillian.
Was she flirting with the man?
It took him a second to realize no, she wasn’t. She was speaking to Eric normally, but it’d been so long since Ty had heard that particular tone, it only sounded like flirting.
“No need to thank me,” Eric said. “I’ll be around if you need me.”
“I’m actually going to be leaving now,” she said.
“Want me to walk you out?” Eric asked with a bit too much glee, even while renewing his glare at Ty.
She shook her head. “That won’t be necessary.”
Eric looked her up and down. Subtle, but Ty recognized the action from doing it himself to assess a submissive and their response. Eric still wasn’t convinced Ty hadn’t hurt Lillian recently, or that she was being truthful in saying she was fine with him. Ty remained still and silent.
“Very well,” Eric said, but he didn’t seem happy about it. In fact, he stood right where he was and crossed his arms over his chest.
“Later, Ty,” Lillian said and walked toward the doors leading directly to the locker rooms.
Ty watched until she left, but he wasn’t ready to say goodbye to her just yet. Not even for the night. Since he came with Maggie, there had been no need for him to visit the locker room. His only plan for the night was to give her a tour, and he didn’t even have to do that anymore since she’d gone off with Isaac. It would be easy to follow or wait for Lillian to come out.
One look at Eric told Ty it would be in his best interest not to be waiting for Lillian to emerge from the women’s locker room. He didn’t think it was a good idea to wait for her outside the club, either. There was no doubt Eric would watch and wait in both places for him to do that. And getting involved in a fist fight wasn’t on Ty’s list of things to accomplish for the evening.
Ty nodded a goodbye at Eric and headed straight toward the club’s neutral, no-play room, which allowed him to exit the club without going near the dressing rooms. Before stepping outside, he stopped by the front desk to ensure Maggie was taken care of. Not that he could fathom Isaac ever leaving her, or anyone for that matter, alone in an unknown club, but Ty wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if something happened to her. Especially with the truth being it was him and not Isaac who’d brought her tonight.
Though the young man working the front desk didn’t know Ty, he knew who Isaac was, and assured Ty that Maggie was being well cared for. Ty thanked him, and walked out of the club feeling more upbeat than he had walked in, though he wasn’t sure why. At the end of the night, Maggie wouldn’t leave him broken and in two million pieces. The same couldn’t be said of Lillian.
Not that it changed his mind on what his next step would be, he realized as he flagged down a cab outside the club. Lillian might think they were finished for the night, but he was nowhere close to being finished.
He gave her address to the taxi’s driver and looked out the window to the BDSM club. There were only a few windows on the nondescript building, but the main office on the second floor held one that overlooked the very spot he’d just hailed the cab from. Someone moved from behind the blinds. Eric, if Ty had to guess. Probably delighted to see him leave and congratulating himself on winning.
Joke was on him, because Ty hadn’t even started fighting.
* * *
Chapter 3
Lillian
Lillian stepped out of the club, half expecting to find Ty waiting for her. When he wasn’t, she couldn’t decide if she was surprised or not. Based on what he said prior to being interrupted by Eric, he’d be waiting for her. Perhaps the interaction with Eric had changed his mind. She hadn’t seen Ty in almost three years, but she still knew him. Eric’s implication he thought Ty intended to act without her consent more than likely had thrown her ex-husband for a loop.
Ty might be a cheater, but he’d never cross the consent line. He wouldn’t even toe it.
But of course, Eric wouldn’t know that. He couldn’t. She smiled at the thought of how Eric had rushed to her side when he thought she was in trouble. Truth be told, she’d always found a Dom’s protective nature to be undeniably hot. If she wasn’t heading to Florida in two days, she would have given serious thought to agreeing to spend an hour or so with Eric.
However, not only was she headed to Florida, Ty was back in town and that made things….different. At the moment, she wasn’t sure to what extent they were different, but somehow seeing her ex affected her more than the knowledge of his return to the States.
On the way back to her apartment, she debated on whether she should tell Ty about Florida. Part of her thought it was crazy she even asked herself the question. Why should she tell him? He was no longer anything to her other than a heartache and sad reminder of what she once had. Or at least, what she once thought she had.
The other part of her accepted the fact that since they had spoken face-to-face, if she were to take off without a word, he’d worry when he wasn’t able to reach her. Not that she should care.
But she did.
The realization of how much she still cared left her a little despondent. It’d been close to three years. How long did it take to get over one’s ex-husband? She could be nice to herself and say she needed more time. After all, it had always been her intention to live happily ever after with Ty forever. The possibility of divorce had never crossed her mind. You couldn’t expect to get over forever quickly, could you? Surely, it took longer than a handful of years. But she feared she’d never get over him.
If she ran the world, all feelings she had for Ty would have ceased the second she found him with another woman in their bed. Likewise, when approached by a fine looking and protective Dominant such as Eric, she would jump at the chance to spend some time alone with him. Unfortunately, she didn’t run the world, and whoever did never bothered asking for her opinion on the matter. Which meant the only things she had waiting for at her when she got home were a lonely apartment and a half packed suitcase.
Except when she entered the lobby of her building, Ty was waiting for her.
* * *
She blinked to make sure he wasn’t a figment of her imagination. Maybe thinking about him on the way home had somehow tricked her brain into believing he was there. Like a mirage.
But no. Right there he stood. Waiting.
She hated how happy she was, and willed herself not to let it show.
“No one would let me inside,” he said.
“Good,” she replied. “Security’s one reason I chose this place.”
“Will you let me in so we can talk?” he asked.
She crossed her arms. “What could we have left to talk about?”
“Lillian, please,” he said.
“Please what?”
“Please, let’s not do this here.”
“Do what? From where I’m standing, all we’re doing is talking.”
He sighed. “I’d prefer we talk in private.”
She bit her tongue. If she didn’t, odds were she’d tell him she didn’t give a damn what he preferred, and then give him an alphabetized list of times her preferences weren’t considered. Doing that, however, would get them nowhere.
“Talking won't change anything,” she finally said. “We’ve already talked about everything th
ere is to talk about, and I don’t feel like a rehash. That’s my preference.”
He studied her. It almost felt as if he was attempting to determine how serious she was. She leveled her gaze at him in what she hoped conveyed, serious as I’ve ever been.
It must have worked because he sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “I’ll tell you what,” he said. “Let me in tonight. Let’s have one conversation, and if at the end, you still feel the way about me as you feel now, I’ll leave you alone.”
She raised an eyebrow, not believing a word out of his mouth. “Right. Sure you will.”
“I promise, Lillian.”
He whispered her name, and its warmth wrapped around her in a way she’d forgotten. Tears prickled her eyes at how tenderly he spoke. It took all she had not to burst out with the truth. She would still feel the same way about him after their conversation as she did right now. But she held her tongue because he didn’t need to know she still loved him. Even after everything. She couldn’t tell him how she sometimes rolled over in bed and expected him to be there. How when something happened, and she had to talk to someone, he was the first person who always came to mind.
If he knew… If she slipped and told him, he’d never give up. He’d keep thinking if he tried hard enough, she’d change her mind. But she wouldn’t. She couldn’t.
She decided in that moment to keep her feelings for Ty buried deep inside where no one went, and he’d never know. Her issues with him were never about her feelings. She loved him. Always had. Always would. But she couldn’t trust him. And because of that, there was no way of the two of them would ever reconcile to where they once were.
She tilted her head, trying to determine how serious he was. “I let you in, let you talk, and if I still feel the same, you’ll leave and won’t bother me again?”
“Yes.”
“Come on inside.”
Chapter 4
Ty
Ty’s sense of victory lasted as he rode the elevator up to her apartment, watched her unlock the door, and stepped inside behind her. It disappeared the instant she turned around to address him. All it took was one glance at the way she stood to know everything he needed. From how she held her back and shoulders, to the look in her eye. Cold and unmoving. Every last inch.
His stomach plummeted. He’d done that to her. He’d made her that way.
“Nothing I say is going to change matters.” He spoke it as a statement because he didn’t need her confirmation.
“I’m glad you realized that truth sooner rather than later,” she said. “Now you can leave and we’ll both have time to do something constructive with our evening.”
He didn’t want to have time to do anything else. He wanted to talk with her. Hell, as far as he was concerned, they didn’t even have to talk. He was thrilled to stand in her presence.
He looked around. The apartment she lived in now wasn’t as nice as the one they had shared, but then again, his wasn’t either. He’d moved not long after the separation, not able to stand living in the space they’d shared.
As expected, her new place was clean and cozy. Somewhat of an open concept, he could see both the kitchen and the living room from his spot in the entranceway. There was a door he assumed to lead to a bedroom.
“Maybe I can help you do something constructive? Hang pictures? Paint?” he suggested.
“Are you trying to be helpful now?”
“I’m trying to do anything that’ll keep me here longer.” He saw the unasked question in her eyes. Why? He also saw she refused to ask it. “Because it’s been three years since I last saw you, and I’m not ready to lose sight of you just yet. There’s something about just looking at you that makes happy.”
He hoped his words might soften her or make her smile, but they didn’t appear to do either.
“In that case,” she replied. “It’s probably for the best I removed that decision from you altogether.”
Removed that decision? “What does that mean?”
“It means the day after tomorrow, I’m going to Florida for two weeks to help with hurricane recovery.”
He wasn’t sure he heard correctly. Lillian was going to Florida for two weeks? For hurricane recovery? The day after tomorrow? “What?”
Instead of answering, she walked to a nearby table, took a piece of paper from the top, and passed it to him. It was a printed email from a coordinator for a non-profit relief agency. He made a note of the coordinator’s name and phone number before handing it back to Lillian.
“Why?” he asked.
Her expression softened for a second, but before he could say anything, she shook her head and walked into the small kitchen. He wasn’t sure if he should follow or not. She hadn’t told him not to but, she hadn’t motioned for him to come with her, either.
Fuck it. He followed her, determined to find out why she felt the need to go to Florida all of a sudden. He’d read the date on the printed email. This trip wasn’t something she’d had planned for months. From what he could gather, it’d existed about three weeks. Coincidentally around the time he’d returned to the States.
She turned to look at him, and the tear-filled eyes meeting his took him aback. He rushed to her.
“Lillian,” he said. What he really wanted to do was gather her in his arms and do whatever it took to make her tears disappear forever. However, he knew her well enough to recognize that at the moment, she wouldn't welcome either action. Instead, he placed his hand along her lower back and guided her to the small table she had in the room's corner. He pulled out one of the two chairs and settled her into it. “Mind if I sit down with you?”
“No.” She wiped a thumb under each eye and gave an enormous sigh.
He waited for her to talk first. The move to London had afforded him time to think, and he spent a lot of that time thinking about the two of them. In looking back over the course of their marriage, he realized he’d always felt the need to fill the silence. Now he realized that there was nothing wrong with silence. In fact, thanks to his other business partner, Lance, and his fiancé, Celeste, Ty had learned some benefits of silence. Which meant if he had to sit at Lillian’s kitchen table all night, waiting for her to speak?
He’d sit back and get comfortable. Whatever it took, he would do. He wanted to know what was happening and why she was leaving for two weeks, but he was going to let her take the lead in the discussion.
But it didn’t take all night. It didn’t even take three minutes. Apparently, Lillian must have somehow figured out he wouldn't push her to talk.
“You want to know why I decided to go to Florida now?” she asked.
“Yes,” he said. “It doesn’t strike me as something you’d do.”
“I’m going because you’re back, and I don’t know how to live in the same city with you and not to be with you. Because I know how easy it’d be for me to fall back under your spell. I can’t do it again.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, but he knew she wasn’t finished yet.
He waited.
Her eyes opened and when she looked at him, he felt as if she saw beyond the part of him he showed everyone and went straight to the part that had always belonged to her and her alone. After all these years, it could never be claimed by another.
“Even now,” she said. “Having you here in my apartment, I feel it.”
He didn’t have to ask what she meant because he knew all too well what she was talking about. In London, where he thought he’d be able to start again, he never made it past one night with a woman. He always found a reason not to call and ask for a second date, and when it all came down to it, they all shared the same reason. None of the women were Lillian. As a result, he was the perpetual bachelor, stuck in a country he didn’t belong to and unable to move on.
How could he move on when the best part of him was across the ocean?
“I know,” he told her. “I feel it, too.”
Her hands were on top of the table, tempting him to touch one. To brin
g it up to his lips for a kiss. He couldn’t help but wonder if her skin still tasted the same or if it’d changed over the last few years. Under the table, he fisted his hands so he wouldn’t give into the temptation to find out for himself.
“It’s never going to go away, you know.” He couldn’t help but to lean closer to her as he spoke, what with it being such a small table and all. “It’s always going to be there between us. If the last three years have shown us nothing, they’ve shown us that. Do you really think a two-week stint in Florida is going to make a difference?”
“Not really.” She shrugged. “But at least it’ll give me something else to think about for a little while.”
He leaned even closer to her, and this time, she shifted more toward him. Whether she knew or not, he wasn’t sure. “Do you think about me a lot, Lillian?”
Her lips parted just enough for her tongue to wet them. She wasn’t aware she was doing it, or at least, that was what she’d always said in the past whenever he mentioned how it drove him wild. The sight of the pink, wet tip brushing across those soft lips.
Fuck.
“I’d be lying if I said anything different,” she finally admitted.
He’d spanked her for lying before. With that thought, an image of her naked, her ass bare and exposed for him flashed before him. He fisted his hands harder. Damn it. This was not the time for his dick to decide to join in and give advice. But between her tongue and the image of her anticipating his discipline, he couldn’t blame his dick for trying.
Regardless, the fact of the matter was Lillian was going to Florida for two weeks to help with hurricane repairs as a way to keep from thinking about him. Nothing about that sounded like a good idea, and it wouldn’t work, anyway. Because as much as she’d hate to admit it, he bet at night, when all was still and silent, she’d still think of him.