Mentor's Match Page 10

  She captured his mouth in a harsh kiss, her lips becoming hard and demanding in a way she had never been before with him. He responded in kind, and his kiss was just as urgent as hers. They continued like that, kissing and trying to get into the other deeper. They could never get deep enough, fast enough, or hard enough. She broke away and gasped for air.

  She thought he might try to take over. It wouldn’t have surprised her. After all, this had to be new for him. But he did not. Instead, he kept his hands on her waist, seemingly perfectly content to let her take the lead.

  Even so, eventually she got to a point where she felt his body strain against hers in an effort not to take over. Gradually, her movements became less and less gentle and more frantic as her body betrayed her need. He was right there with her of course, with a satisfied and mumbled, “Yes. Ride me.”

  With that she gave in and rode him as hard as she could, spreading her legs and taking him deeper. She looked in his eyes and said, “Do it.”

  He lifted her slightly and held her steady and he thrust upward as hard as he could, bringing her closer to her release.

  “Oh yes,” she said. “More.”

  “Yes?” he asked.

  “Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.”

  He intensified the yeses with thrusts up into her body, even as she was still riding him. Her release crashed over her in a rush and she stilled above him as she came. He dropped his head and pressed his lips to her neck, thrusting one more time into her hard and deep and he shouted with his own release.

  It was several minutes before she could speak. When she finally found her voice, all she could get out was, “The water’s cold.”

  He lifted his head and glanced at their surroundings. “What’s left in the tub, that is.”

  She reached for the towels she’d laid out only to discover that as a result of their bathtub antics, they were completely soaked. “So much for being prepared.”

  She stepped out of the tub, careful not to slip on the wet tile and grabbed the bathrobe hanging on the door. Before slipping it on, she found a dry town in the linen closet for him. He nodded his thanks and wrapped it around his waist.

  She felt odd and couldn’t put her finger on what it was. It couldn’t have been the sex. They’d had sex before and she hadn’t felt odd after.

  That’s when it hit her.

  Every time they’d had sex in the past, he’d spend time doing aftercare. But since they hadn’t been in a scene, heck, he wasn’t even Topping her, there was no aftercare to do.

  It shocked her how much she missed it. She’d never thought that much about it, never considered what it would be like to not have it. She looked down at the wet floor and knew she needed to clean it up. Now wasn’t the time to analyze sex. She’d do it later. When she was alone. She didn’t need to look at Fritz to know he was watching her. She felt the weight of his stare.

  “I’m going to clean this mess up,” she said.

  He walked over to her and kissed her shoulder. “Let me do it. I’m not totally convinced you’ve regained all your strength back from when you had the flu.” She started to protest, but he put his finger over her lips. “I’m doing everything I can so I don’t act like a Dominant when I’m with you. It’s hard and it goes against my entire nature. Let me do this one thing, Kate.”

  She closed her eyes. She’d known it would be hard for him to ignore that part of himself, but he’d never articulated it before. And now that he had, she could see the strain in his eyes.

  Besides, was she seriously going to turn him down when he offered to clean up the mess they’d made? Not likely.

  She lightly brushed his cheek and thanked him. “I’ll go find something for dinner.”

  ~~~~~

  After they had dinner and before he left, she decided to bring up the thing that had been bothering her for days. “Fritz,” she said, and once she got his attention, she added before changing her mind, “Can I ask you something?”

  “Of course. But you know that.”

  She took a big breath, and clarified, “It’s only, that is. Well…it’s not very vanilla."

  “Are you sure you want us to talk about something like that?”

  “Yes.” She sighed deeply and played with a hangnail before looking at him and telling him the truth. “The thing is, you’re the only person I can ask about this. It has to be you. You’re the only one who knows. And I think when you hear, you’ll understand.” She shook her head. “No, I guess you’re right. Just ignore it.”

  “No, Kate. Please, ask me your question. And I promise I'll answer as best I can.”

  Why was it so hard to talk to him about it? Seriously they had done it. It shouldn’t be difficult. Fortunately, he made it easy, by being patient and waiting. Giving her all the time she needed to come up with the way to ask a question. “I want to know, if I was with Cole for eight years why do you think I never told him about my fantasy?”

  It was not the question he had anticipated her asking. That much was obvious from the surprised look on his face. And she appreciated the fact he didn't answer right away. Instead, he closed his eyes, and thought and was quiet.

  She was amazed at how much better she felt once she asked a question, even though he wasn’t answering it quickly. The important part was that she’d asked and she knew he would help her understand why she felt this way.

  “Okay,” he said, finally. “Here’s what I’m thinking. You were with Cole a long time and, as a result, you knew what he liked, what he didn’t like and you knew what he would do and wouldn't do, right?”

  She nodded. “Yes."

  “And, forgive me for saying for saying this, but I think you were very much aware of his needs in your service to Cole.”

  She was slightly taken aback that he’d even noticed her when she was with Cole. It didn’t seem like the best time to bring it up, so she just kept quiet and nodded for him to continue.

  “Now, as a slave, you perhaps knew that what you wanted in your fantasy was a bit outside of his comfort zone. And because you respected him and didn’t want to put him in a position where he felt like he needed to do something about that fantasy, you didn’t say anything. Am I making sense?”

  She nodded. He was, in fact, he was making a lot of sense.

  “The thing is though as a slave,” he continued, “it’s your responsibility to tell him everything about how you feel. Everything you want. Even if it doesn’t line up with what he's doing. Because you are his responsibility, all of you, and that includes the fantasies you have. Does that make sense?”

  “Yes,” she said. “It was just me being a good slave."

  “I wouldn't say that,” he said. “I think it has more to say about your relationship with Cole than what it does about you being a slave.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes,” he said. “It's not the responsibility of a slave to try and decide what to tell and what not to tell her master. As a slave, you should tell your master everything. Even if it makes you uncomfortable. Even things you think he doesn’t want to hear. Maybe especially in those cases. That is what a slave is supposed to do. Understand?”

  She did.

  “Say it,” he said in that Dom voice of his that sent wicked shivers throughout her body. But damn, he didn’t expect her to call him ‘sir’ did he?

  “Yes,” she said, simply.

  His gaze was unwavering when he spoke. “You know what I would do to you if you were my slave?”

  She did not want to hear this. She was afraid of how her body would react. She straightened her shoulders, determined not to let him affect her this way. “Why don’t you tell me?” she challenged him.

  He leaned his head toward her so close she could feel his breath against her skin. “If you were mine, I’d tell you to go to the playroom and pick out what I would use on you. Each implement you picked up, I’d detail how I’d use it on you. Then I’d finally allow you to situate yourself over the bench. I’d ask you why you were being punished and
then I’d give it to you. I’d make sure it never crossed your mind to not tell me exactly how you felt and what you needed. You understand?”

  “Yes,” she ground out, hoping that in doing so she was able to give off a vibe that conveyed she was totally unaffected.

  She didn't think it was working.

  One look at his face told her it did not.

  He continued. “I would cover your backside so hard and heavy, you’d feel me for two weeks. You’d tell me everything you thought just to make sure you didn't forget to tell me something important again. You never keep a secret from your Master for his sake. You honor your Master by telling him exactly what you feel and what you need. How can he give you what you need if you don't tell him? If you don’t tell him everything, he is worthless. That is not how the dynamic works. Do you understand?”

  She nodded. Not trusting herself to speak this time.

  “I’ll tell you something else I understand,” he continued. “When I talk about how I would punish you, you love it. Not only that, but you’d love every minute of it if I were to do it to you right now. In fact if you weren’t so damn adamant that you were vanilla. I would do it in a heartbeat. I’d flip you over my knee and start on you with my hand. Give that ass the thrashing it deserves, and when I thought you’d had enough, I’d have you deep throat my cock, getting it nice and hard so I could fuck your ass and really work you over.”

  She closed her eyes because she knew he was telling the truth. She whispered, "I’m sorry I can’t be what you need.”

  He sighed heavily. “Damn it, Kate. It's not you being something that I need. It’s you admitting what you need and what you want. That's my problem and what I have an issue with.”

  “Funny,” she said. “That’s not the impression I got listening to you talk just now. I thought it was about me not being honest with Cole, not about what I wanted or what I needed.”

  He took a deep breath. “Did it not occur to you that admitting your fantasy is also admitting what you need and want? They are the exact same. You can't do one and not do the other. What do you not understand about that?”

  She sucked in a breath just as the truth of what he said hit her. She didn’t know what she wanted. She didn’t know what she needed. She had gone on too long being who she thought she needed and wanted to be while in her relationship with Cole, that she had no idea who she was without him. “I don’t know anything about who I am.”

  “And I’m afraid I’ve only made it worse,” he said. “It was wrong to try to be vanilla for you. It only confused the issue. I'm sorry.”

  No one said anything. Her head was so full of what she’d just realized, she had no idea what to say or how to even start.

  “I should leave,” he said, standing.

  “No,” she said. “Don’t leave on my account.”

  He looked as if he were in pain when he turned. “It’s not you, it’s me. I made a mistake. I’ve done nothing but confuse the matter. I just…” He looked up and blinked a few times before looking back at her. “I'm sorry about everything.”

  She was frozen in shock over the turn in the conversation. Without saying another word, he turned and walked to the door. She watched him leave, not knowing if she should say anything or if she should try to stop him. She knew it was going to hurt when he left, but she couldn’t make herself move. So she ended up doing nothing at all other than watching him leave.

  When his car disappeared, she got angry. First at him and then at herself, but as much as she tried, she couldn’t be mad at him. Not even for trying to be what she wanted. He’d only done it for her.

  ~~~~~

  By the end of the next week, Kate knew her time in Wilmington was about to be over. Her part of the project was just about finished, in fact, she probably could've left earlier. Nobody had said anything yet about her hanging around, but they would eventually.

  If she wanted to, she knew she could come up with a reason or two to delay her departure, but she’d never been one to hang around if she wasn’t needed. Besides, she had projects and clients waiting. She had plenty to do to keep her busy.

  She’d never been so sad to leave a project before and though she might have tried to lie to others and say she’d miss the entire group, that wasn’t the whole truth. She was going to miss Fritz. She didn’t know what to do with that knowledge anymore than she knew what to do with what she’d learned about herself.

  She looked up from the table she’d claimed as her desk. Construction was well underway. Another sign it was time to leave. Fritz would be extremely busy in the months to come. Right now, he was talking with one of the construction crew’s foreman. His arms were crossed and she could see the outline of the muscles under his shirt. As if he felt her gaze, he looked her way and gave her a half smile before returning to his conversation.

  She didn't think she'd be happy vanilla. In fact, she knew she wouldn't be, but she also knew she wouldn’t be a slave again either. How could she even think about getting into relationship with anybody if she didn’t know what she wanted herself?

  What she needed was time to think. Somewhere alone. Somewhere away from Fritz and the whole group and everybody else who was trying to fill her head with so many different things. They were good things, she knew they were. They were things she needed to think about. But most of all, she knew she need to do it in our own time and in her own space.

  And she needed to do it without Fritz around, because she was very afraid that if she didn’t, she’d turn herself into what he wanted and not what she needed.

  She’d taken what he said about her inability to share her fantasy with Cole and examined it for herself. There had been a lot of truth in what he’d said. Cole had never said or done anything to imply he couldn’t handle her fantasies. She had made that decision for him, for both of them, and that had been wrong. She knew that now.

  Recognizing that, she realized she wasn’t quite ready to head back to New York just yet.

  She had one more thing to do.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Late in the morning the next Saturday, Kate pulled into the driveway of Cole and Sasha’s house. She couldn’t help but think as she drove up the driveway, how it compared to the house they’d once shared. This one was more private; he now had a lot of land. He would like that, he always liked his privacy and would often comment that he wanted more land than what they had in New York. She was glad he’d finally got what he wanted. It looked more traditional than the contemporary they’d lived in. Although, she imagined the inside would be relatively the same. She couldn’t believe his tastes would have changed that much.

  As she got out of the car, she wondered if she should've called first. Just to let them know that she was coming. It didn't occur to her until that exact moment, that there might not be anybody at home. She walked up the driveway to the door anyway and knocked.

  Sasha opened the door. “Kate,” she said, surprised, but opening the door wide open. “Come on in. How are you?”

  Kate couldn’t help but smile at Cole’s new girlfriend/submissive. She was always so happy. “I'm doing well thank you. Is Cole here? I came by to speak with him briefly before I headed out.”

  Sasha shook her head. “No, he had a breakfast meeting with Nathanial.” She looked at her watch. “He should be back in about forty-five minutes, if you’d like to wait?”

  Normally, she would say no, thank you and she’d come back later, but this time, there was no later. It was now or nothing. “If you don't mind, I’ll wait. But only if it won’t be an imposition to you.”

  “No.” Sasha shook her head. “No imposition at all. Please come in and wait.”

  She led her into the house, and Kate was pleased to see she had been right. The house actually did look like Cole. Although, she saw a few pieces that must've been Sasha’s influence. And that made her smile.

  “Would you like something to drink?” Sasha asked, as they stepped into the kitchen. “Coffee? Tea? Juice?”

  �
��Tea would be lovely. Thank you.”

  “So tell me,” Sasha asked while getting out two cups. “Were you a tea drinker before Cole? I have to admit, I’ll drink tea, but I prefer coffee.”

  Kate smiled. “Actually, before Cole, I was a coffee drinker. I guess living with an Englishman changed me.”

  “I don’t think I’ll ever change that much.” Sasha wrinkled her nose. “I don’t mind it and I’ll drink it, but I don’t see it replacing coffee.”

  Kate watched as Sasha got out the loose leaf tea to start marking their drinks. “You know what?” Kate asked before she did anything else. “I’ve changed my mind, let’s have coffee.”

  Sasha turned around. “Are you sure?”

  “Very.”

  The loose leaf was placed back in the pantry and the coffee started. When both cups were ready, Sasha lifted an eyebrow and nodded toward the kitchen table. Kate walked over and joined her. She took her cup and sat down.

  Sasha took a sip of and sighed. “Nope. Never going to change.”

  Kate closed her eyes at the strong taste of the brew. “Heaven,” she agreed.

  “You know,” Sasha said a few minutes later when they were sufficiently caffeinated. “When I first heard of you, I was in awe.”

  Of her? Kate tilted her head.

  “Because not only had you been Cole’s girlfriend and submissive, but you lived as his slave for eight years and I was amazed. What type of woman would it take to do that?” Sasha shook her head. “I couldn’t fathom it.”

  There were times when she thought about it and she couldn’t believe it either. Eight years. How was that even possible?

  “Cole’s always said it’s the baby issue that caused us to split, but I believe it was more. If it had only been about kids, I’m sure we could have worked it out. I think,” Kate started and then stopped. She took a deep breath. It was time. “I think it was several things. Like, I got comfortable with Cole. Looking back now, I knew he wasn’t the great love of my life, but he was comfortable and I think a part of me decided that I could just be comfortable until the great love did come around.”